Book Review: 2Brides 2Be – A Same Sex Guide for the Modern Bride

Photo by Rob Spring


Weddings are weddings and love is love – whether it is a guy and girl, a girl and girl, a guy and guy. Yet there are still some anxiety about planning a Same Sex wedding. This new book 2Brides 2Be is an excellent resource for planning your wedding. It has awesome tips for your perfect day – whether you are gay or not. Every bride should buy this book.

The first same sex wedding I performed was a long ceremony. At the time, same sex weddings were new in Canada. The two guys included some philosophy on the social meaning and impact of this newly granted right. And it was in English and French where I repeated everything. It is still one of my longest ceremonies I’ve ever performed.

We’ve come a long way from that day. I often perform same sex weddings and they are well accepted by the audience. Still, there are some questions that arise. People ask if there are any special issues in planning a same sex wedding. Laura Leigh Abby wrote this book to answer those questions.

In my view, she has covered every aspect.

The secret to having an ideal same-sex wedding is to discard everything you think you know about the nuptials and ceremonies and “yes to the dresses.” One of the best things about being a queer woman is that you can rewrite history—you have the chance to create the kind of big day that you haven’t even begun to dream about. There aren’t any “rules” for you or your partner; no one has to perform the expected duties of the groom—there is no groom! There’s just you and your spouse-to-be—your wife, should you decide to use the conventional term, and accept it for yourself as well.

I love how she has covered all aspects of planning a wedding and giving her story throughout. It adds authenticity.

As you read through each chapter, you do come to realize that, for the most part, a lesbian wedding is the same as any other. However, she does point out some issues that are to be considered in a same sex wedding.

  • How do the parents feel about it?
  • Who asks who to marry them?
  • Is your relationship a surprise to anyone?
  • Finding an appropriate officiant that suits your style
  • Walking down the aisle
  • What do you wear?
  • Tips on writing vows
  • How do you want to be pronounced?
  • Decisions on name changing
  • About the kiss?

In the end, it is always about two people in love.

Every single part of a wedding ceremony and reception is optional, except for you and your chosen partner for life. Finding that person is worth celebrating. It always has been, and always will be.

I highly recommend any couple planning a wedding get this book. It is full of practical and useful information, presented in a story format that makes it easy to read. This is not a book of lists of to do’s or not to do’s. It is one about making your wedding personal.

Photo by Heather Rice Photography