“Holy Crap, I’m Married!”


The bride told me she was shy. She didn’t like attention. But she got the whole crowd’s attention when she exclaimed, “Holy Crap, I’m married!”

I met Tammy and Colin at one of my usual coffee shops to discuss their upcoming nuptials. This was a second time wedding for both of them. Tammy is divorced and Colin is widowed. The nice thing about second-timers is that they are not bound by the trappings of the “should-haves” of the first wedding.

This was obvious from the start with these love birds. To start off, she told me she was shy. Tammy didn’t like to be the centre of attention. So we devised a really different start for their ceremony. I asked if they wanted to include the kids somehow. After some discussion, they decided it may not be for the best as one of the kids was on the autism spectrum.

I arrived at the Courtyard Restaurant at 6:30pm for a 7:00pm start. The room was romantically set-up in candlelight. I snapped a photo of Tammy and Colin in an intimate moment just before we started.


Instead of Tammy walking down the aisle a different entrance was planned. Tammy, Colin and myself were in the room. Guests were handed a glass of prosecco and allowed into the room. This was a reverse entrance – the 50 guests walked in instead of the bride.

I welcome everyone and started the ceremony. Three guests were invited to read their inspirational passages from where they stood in the room. At one point when I said,

“Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same. For after today you shall say to the world – This is my husband. This is my wife.”

Tammy became emotional, teared up and buried her head in Colin’s right shoulder. It was a tender moment. I paused for a few seconds to respect the heartfelt display. The room was completely silent.

We continued with a handfasting where vows were said, rings were exchanged. Finally, I declared them married, they kissed. I invited everyone to raise a glass to the newly married couple.

Then there was a pause. It is that moment when the ceremony is over and the party is about to begin. Colin thanked everyone for coming and asked that the guests enjoy the cocktail reception.

In my experience, it takes a few moments for the couple to realize that they are married. A few seconds to process what has happened and absorb it all. All the planning, expectations, hopes and worries are over.

It was at that moment that Tammy blurted out, “Holy Crap, I’m married!” A round of applause, cheers and laughs burst out from the guests. As I was leaving, Tammy was jokingly and happily going around to the guests showing off her ring saying ,”See I’m married.”

I love these kind of weddings.