Is Asking the Father of the Bride for Permission to Marry on the Way Out?

What comes to mind when you think of a traditional wedding proposal? You might imagine your partner asking for your father’s permission, and a glittering diamond ring that costs up to three months salary. But these standards are dying out, as new research reveals almost a third (30 per cent) of people don’t think it’s important for men to ask their father-in-law to-be for his daughter’s hand in marriage.

Bride and Father
Bride and Father

The survey by bespoke ethical jeweller, Ingleandrhode.co.uk, of 1000 people who were engaged within the last 10 years also found that men and women have different views on proposal traditions.

Over a quarter (28 per cent) of males who have been engaged within the last 10 years don’t feel that it’s important for men to as their father-in-law to-be for his daughter’s hand in marriage in comparison to one third (33 per cent) of women.

More than one in 10 (11 per cent) people don’t feel that it is important for men to ask their father-in-law to-be for his daughter’s hand in marriage because they simply don’t like the idea of it. The idea that men spend three month’s salary on the engagement ring is a myth. Nearly two thirds (65 per cent)  of men spend less than this amount. In fact, one in six men (16 per cent) spend a week’s salary or less which is very surprising.

Traditions are being broken by women too; more than one in 10 (13 per cent) women who were engaged within the last 10 years contributed financially towards their dream engagement ring. The survey also revealed that over half of men who have proposed within the last 10 years were not aware of ethical issues in the jewellery industry including conflict diamonds, environmental damage, exploitative working practices.

Joanne Ferry, 28, from had always wanted her partner to propose to her in a traditional way, on a picnic blanket under the stars but sadly, her dream never came true. Joanne’s partner bucked a number of well known proposal traditions. He hadn’t considered selecting and purchasing an engagement ring and he didn’t ask his father-in-law to be for Joanne’s hand in marriage.

Joanne comments:

“I was stuck with my head down the toilet and, in between vomiting, he came in and asked if we should get married. He didn’t ask my father’s permission and he didn’t have a ring either. I was definitely a bit let down because no one dreams of being proposed to while they’re vomiting.”

“My dream proposal would have been probably on a blanket under the stars after a nice picnic… So pretty different to the one that I got!”

As soon as the blushing bride-to-be had recovered from her illness, the couple visited a number of jewellers and selected an engagement ring together.

The choices and options of buying an engagement ring can be overwhelming, so to help navigate this potential minefield, Ingle & Rhode have pulled together the following infographic guide.

Co-founder of Ingle & Rhode, David  Rhode comments:

“The Ingle & Rhode proposal survey provides great insight into what is one of the most important events of a couple’s lifetime. It’s interesting that a significant number of Brits are throwing caution to the wind and ditching proposal traditions such as asking for permission from the bride-to-be’s father and spending less than three months salary on a ring.”

“What’s even more surprising, is that one in 10 women are bucking proposal trends and are even contributing financially towards their dream engagement ring. But, little thought is given to ethical issues in the jewellery industry including conflict diamonds, environmental damage, exploitative working practices which is discouraging. As traditional proposals are becoming a thing of the past, ethical issues in the industry should be too.”

For more information on the survey or if you would like support selecting the perfect ethically sourced engagement ring for your partner, visit: www.ingleandrhode.co.uk.

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